discouraged

is the name of the game today. Rohan is on her way to training, after an hour long battle to get loaded. She fought it SO badly, not out of fear but out of not wanting to. Therefore I am discouraged, that she'll be too headstrong for me to handle. :( :( . I'm hoping the trainer can turn her around, else I have no choice but to sell her, she's already hurt me once and cost us $2500 in hospital bills.
Then 2 days ago the cattle got into the horsebarn and wreaked havoc. The round bales of hay I had in there were destroyed, tromped into thier mess and hardly any eaten, but wasted after a nite and day of 30 cows playing/crapping in it. Then they broke into the tack room and ate all the grain, knocked down my bridles into thier mess, smashed what was left of the saddlepad closet and trampled my blankets and pads into the mess, and did I mention they crapped/peed everywhere?? It was such a disaster I couldnt scream or cry or anything. Luckily hubby found them first and drove them out- or we'd be in sore need of Hamburger helper. Some stuff is ruined, but most of it was salvagable, with alot of elbow grease. I spent my evening hosing saddlepads and cleaning leather. I'm just thankful the saddles are locked up or that wouldve been the END.
Yesterday when I got home hubby had cleaned the barn and built a new door for the tack room, instead of the gate I used to have. I think he felt bad his cows annihilated so much, and truth be told he should, cuz my son had told him they'd gotten in, but he was busy watching tv and they were 'just in the horsebarn.' Yeah, he was in the doghouse when I heard about that.
Ugh, hoping tomorrow brings a better outlook.